just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
two words: eviction party
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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