so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
