dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
