Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
