he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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