I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just had sex on a roof
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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