dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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