she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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