This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
