Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm jealous of your bromance
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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