chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
