i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
