fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
