please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Randomize
