I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
