C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
