'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
