no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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