It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
