those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
