I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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