but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
