So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
