I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
