he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
