i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
