found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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