She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
