I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We have started to decorate penises.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
