So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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