Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
