there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
