Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
