you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
