I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
