I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
