you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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