I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
