so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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