im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
