new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
