just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
