There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
