once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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