well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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