I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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