@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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