Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
