So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
