I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
