Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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