Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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