How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
