Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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