I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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