..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
