Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I smell like Dick and happiness
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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