JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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